The Grace of Being Remade

"You Are More" by Tenth Avenue North

There's a girl in the corner
With tear stains on her eyes
From the places she's wandered
And the shame she can't hide

She says, "How did I get here?
I'm not who I once was.
And I'm crippled by the fear
That I've fallen too far to love."

But don't you know who you are,
What's been done for you?
Yeah don't you know who you are?

You are more than the choices that you've made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
you are more than the problems you create,
You've been remade.

Well she tries to believe it
That she's been given new life
But she can't shake the feeling
That it's not true tonight

She knows all the answers
And she's rehearsed all the lines
And so she'll try to do better
But then she's too weak to try

But don't you know who you are?

You are more than the choices that you've made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You've been remade.

You are more than the choices that you've made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
you are more than the problems you create,
You've been remade.

'Cause this is not about what you've done,
But what's been done for you.
This is not about where you've been,
But where your brokenness brings you to

This is not about what you feel,
But what He felt to forgive you,
And what He felt to make you loved.

You are more than the choices that you've made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You've been remade.

You are more than the choices that you've made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You've been remade.

You've been remade.
You've been remade.
You've been remade.
You've been remade.

My most recent struggle has been trying to understand something that I probably never will: Why grace was afforded so abundantly to some but I was treated so ungraciously? That drive to comprehend something so incomprehensible can push me down a path of resentment and unending pain and disappointment. It can also create those shadows on the wall that I fear--self-doubt, insecurity, low self-esteem. If I am not careful, the feelings that are justifiably mine can consume me and welcome that darkness back into my life.

The song "You Are More" by Tenth Avenue North really touched me in my most sensitive places in my heart. At first it spoke to me personally. It helped me to understand that it does not matter what my past mistakes are; it does not matter what people have made me look like or how they have spoken ill of me. Jesus loves me; He has forgiven me; I HAVE BEEN REMADE! What a comfort to me to hear.

I know all of this to be true, but it sometimes helps me to have it reinforced. I have to remind myself that what others think or feel or assume does not matter. As long as I set my eyes on Christ and live with a hear for Him, I am doing what needs to be done. So as those shadows threaten to loom on the walls of my heart and as that "Boogie Man" tries to make himself larger than life, I draw on the promise of God's forgiveness and my new lease on life. I know that I am remade and that my God knows that.

I also feel a challenge through this song. While I find peace and comfort for my personal hurts, I also realize that I need to put the shoe on the other foot. I need to remember how I felt being incorrectly judged, feeling like I could not "prove" myself to receive grace. It is not my place to judge someone. I must remember that though I may feel hurt and anger toward someone, that does not mean that that person does not deserve grace. It does not mean that though someone does not show me grace that I should withhold it from him or her.

Because I am remade, I daily strive to be more like Christ. I want my heart to be purified by the Purifier of souls. As I put God first, the rest comes a bit more easily. It doesn't mean that I still don't question why I should show grace to someone who did not so readily show me grace. however, when Christ paid the ultimate price for God to bestow His grace upon us, He never asked God why He should give grace to those who did not do the same for Him. He simply gave His life so that grace could be given to all. That's the special quality of it--you don't earn grace or deserve it. It is freely and lovingly given. What a challenge for me to fulfill!!

That drive to comprehend the incomprehensible could very well become my own stumbling block, if I let it. But, I can also acknowledge it, work past it, and daily strive to be more like my Savior. What a gift I could give someone by showing them the grace I so longed for. What a gift I could give myself by doing it without questioning it!

Brothers, do not slander one another. Anyone who speaks against his brother or judges him speaks against the law and judges it. When you judge the law, you are not keeping it, but sitting in judgement on it. There is only one Lawgiver and Judge, the one who is able to save and destroy. But you-who are you to judge your neighbor? (James 4:11-12)