Forgiven

What a powerful, stand-alone kind of word! Have you ever thought of the force behind it? It has been a magnet of sorts for me. i have been extremely drawn to the topic especially since last spring. If you think about it, forgiveness is the central theme throughout our faith. We received the ultimate forgiveness when Christ gave His life for the sins of mankind--the sins of the past, the sins of the present, and the sins yet to come. What a responsibility and what an awesome gift for us!

But with the gift of being forgiven, we also have a responsibility to forgive ourselves and others. While I have to admit that I find it difficult at times, I sometimes am more challenged in forgiving myself. I even find difficulty in accepting forgiveness from others. I sometimes fight that feeling of not being good enough for/worthy enough of forgiveness. it is so much more difficult to accept TOTAL forgiveness from our Heavenly Father.

In all honesty, we did NOTHING to deserve it. It was a gift given to us, His children, through the grace offered by His Son's sacrifice. WOW! Talk about really making me feel humble. God gives His forgiveness freely to undeserving me. All I have to to is accept it with the understanding that I will not only improve my actions but will also show the same grace to others. In a sense, forgiveness is sort of the gift that keeps giving. Perhaps by forgiving someone, that person can then forgive someone else. Or, maybe that person needs your forgiveness to be able to forgive himself/herself.

It seems so simple, right? But then why do I struggle so much with it? I don't really have any definite answers. But, maybe you also struggle with forgiveness. i know that for me, I sometimes fight with my own self; I continue to hold my past over my own head. Why? I don't know. But what I do know is that I cannot fully accept forgiveness if I can't let go of my own short comings. And if I can't accept forgiveness, how can I truly expect to offer it? It seems to be a round and round cycle of sorts. So, my solution...PRAY!!!

I need to pray daily for all areas pertaining to forgiveness--accepting it, offering it, asking for it. When I was battling with so many issues this past spring, a Sanctus Real song spoke to my heart. So many things made more sense to me in my journey into FORGIVENESS!

"Forgiven" by Sanctus Real
Well the past is playing with my m heart
And failure knocks me down again
I'm reminded of the wrong
That I have said and done
And that devil just won't let me forget

In this life
I know what I've been
But here in Your arms
I know who I am

I'm forgiven. I'm forgiven.
And I don't have to carry
The weight of who I've been
'Cause I'm forgiven

My mistakes are running through my mind
And I'll relive my days, in the middle of the night
When I struggle with my pain, wrestle with my pride
Sometimes I feel alone, and I cry

In this life
I know what I've been
But here in Your arms
I know what I am

I'm forgiven. I'm forgiven.
And I don't have to carry
The weight of who I've been
'Cause I'm forgiven

When I don't fit in and I don't feel like I belong anymore
When I don't measure up to much in this life
Oh, I'm a treasure in the arms of Christ 'cause

I'm forgiven. I'm forgiven.
And I don't have to carry
The weight of who I've been
'Cause I'm forgiven.

I had listened to that song so many times before this one particular day, but I had never really HEARD the message it spoke. When I listened with new ears, I heard so many truths. I had allowed the devil to make me question my deserving forgiveness. He waved my past in my face and kept knocking me back down making me feel like I could never get back up again.

I literally relived my days in the middle of my nights. I would cry myself to sleep, when sleep finally came. i felt unworthy and allowed others to keep me down. Instead of bringing my burdens to Christ, I tried to carry them on my own. I soon felt as if I was bearing the weight of the world on my shoulders. As soon as I allowed my Lord to relieve my load, I was able to focus better. I began to realize that I had to forgive myself for my own past.

You see, the events of last spring opened wounds that I had forgotten. I thought I was beyond my past mistakes, but by not acknowledging them and forgiving myself for them, the devil had opportunity to use them against me. At that point, I not only had to battle the present situation but was also fighting all of my past struggles as well. I recognized my inability to handle the situation and asked for help.

As I grew stronger, I began to recognize my need to forgive myself for my past failures. I needed to be able to see myself for who I am now: remade, beautiful, "a treasure int he arms of Christ". I did not have to carry my burdens alone. I, through the GRACE of God, had been forgiven long ago. As I face each new day, I remind myself of this blessing--I AM FORGIVEN! If I can remember this, i can face anything. I can handle scrutiny, criticism, slander. If I am honest with myself and God, I will be able to recognize my mistakes and seek forgiveness.

I recently purchased something to be a constant reminder of this blessing. it is a pewter ring that has the word "forgiven" etched on the face of the band. Etched on the inside of the band is a Scripture reference, Ephesians 1:7. "In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God's grace." I still catch myself doubting my forgiveness or ability to be forgiven. But when I glimpse down at that ring, a smile crosses my face. Because, I know that by grace I am FORGIVEN. It is my hope and goal in life to be able to seek, offer, and receive the gift of FORGIVENESS whenever possible. After all, what better a gift to share with one another than the greatest gift with which God blessed us--His forgiveness!