Our church has experienced several deaths in the past six weeks. So, songs like "It Is Well" and "Great Is Thy Faithfulness" are fresh on my mind. However, stuck in my head today were the words "Then sings my soul, my Savior God to Thee..." At first I wondered why this song was so fresh in my mind. Then I remembered why--the choir si singing an anthem with "How Great Thou Art" in it.
What gets me the most is the profound nature of the words "Then sings my soul". Have you ever thought about the depth of those words? Have you ever stopped to think about the power behind those words?
I would define my soul as the inner-most part of my being. Describing a person as singin simply explains his or her actions. To me, describing my soul as singing simply explains his or her actions. To me, describing my soul as singing is an incomprehensible/undescribable depth of worship. It is the inner-most part of what I am breaking forth in song.
I have shared on more than one occasion how I worship thorugh song; I sing while praying; I sing when I am happy; I sing when I am sad. I find music speaks such volumes, and, when I am open to listening, God can speak to me through music.
I just cannot get past the power behind the concept of my soul singing. What an awesome level of praise: our souls singing, "How great Thou art!" As you look through the Bible, countless times passages speak of singing to the Lord or praising God with SONGS of praise. I would have to agree--for me I know of no better way to praise and worship than through song.
I was looking for a particular passage to affirm this and the words to this hymn. What I founjd was just how difficult it was for me to single out one passage in particular. By nature, the Psalms speak often to singing. For whatever reason, the 47th Psalm spoke to my heart today.
1 Clap your hands, all you nations, shout to God with cries of joy.
2 How awesome is the Lord Most High, the great King over all the Earth!
3 He subdued nations under us, peoples under our feet.
4 He chose our inheritance for us, the pride of Jacob, whome he loved.
5 God has ascended amid shouts of joy, the Lord amid the sounding of trupets.
6 Sing praises to God, sing praises, sing praises to our King, sing praises.
7 For God is the King of all the earth; sing to him a psalm of praise.
8 God reigns over the nations; God is seated on his holy throne.
9 The nobles of the nations assemble as the people of the god of Abraham, for the kings of the earth belong to God; he is greatly exalted.
Close your eyes and imagine the power and volume behind 100 voices singing together. Now take it one step further, imagine the voices of the people are rising up from their innermost beings--from their souls. That's what God longs for the souls of His people lifting songs of praise and worship and honor to Him. The next time I lift my voice, I will lift it from deep within me, from my soul. Will you let your soul sing, too?
Monday, October 25, 2010
The Grace of Being Remade
"You Are More" by Tenth Avenue North
There's a girl in the corner
With tear stains on her eyes
From the places she's wandered
And the shame she can't hide
She says, "How did I get here?
I'm not who I once was.
And I'm crippled by the fear
That I've fallen too far to love."
But don't you know who you are,
What's been done for you?
Yeah don't you know who you are?
You are more than the choices that you've made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
you are more than the problems you create,
You've been remade.
Well she tries to believe it
That she's been given new life
But she can't shake the feeling
That it's not true tonight
She knows all the answers
And she's rehearsed all the lines
And so she'll try to do better
But then she's too weak to try
But don't you know who you are?
You are more than the choices that you've made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You've been remade.
You are more than the choices that you've made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
you are more than the problems you create,
You've been remade.
'Cause this is not about what you've done,
But what's been done for you.
This is not about where you've been,
But where your brokenness brings you to
This is not about what you feel,
But what He felt to forgive you,
And what He felt to make you loved.
You are more than the choices that you've made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You've been remade.
You are more than the choices that you've made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You've been remade.
You've been remade.
You've been remade.
You've been remade.
You've been remade.
My most recent struggle has been trying to understand something that I probably never will: Why grace was afforded so abundantly to some but I was treated so ungraciously? That drive to comprehend something so incomprehensible can push me down a path of resentment and unending pain and disappointment. It can also create those shadows on the wall that I fear--self-doubt, insecurity, low self-esteem. If I am not careful, the feelings that are justifiably mine can consume me and welcome that darkness back into my life.
The song "You Are More" by Tenth Avenue North really touched me in my most sensitive places in my heart. At first it spoke to me personally. It helped me to understand that it does not matter what my past mistakes are; it does not matter what people have made me look like or how they have spoken ill of me. Jesus loves me; He has forgiven me; I HAVE BEEN REMADE! What a comfort to me to hear.
I know all of this to be true, but it sometimes helps me to have it reinforced. I have to remind myself that what others think or feel or assume does not matter. As long as I set my eyes on Christ and live with a hear for Him, I am doing what needs to be done. So as those shadows threaten to loom on the walls of my heart and as that "Boogie Man" tries to make himself larger than life, I draw on the promise of God's forgiveness and my new lease on life. I know that I am remade and that my God knows that.
I also feel a challenge through this song. While I find peace and comfort for my personal hurts, I also realize that I need to put the shoe on the other foot. I need to remember how I felt being incorrectly judged, feeling like I could not "prove" myself to receive grace. It is not my place to judge someone. I must remember that though I may feel hurt and anger toward someone, that does not mean that that person does not deserve grace. It does not mean that though someone does not show me grace that I should withhold it from him or her.
Because I am remade, I daily strive to be more like Christ. I want my heart to be purified by the Purifier of souls. As I put God first, the rest comes a bit more easily. It doesn't mean that I still don't question why I should show grace to someone who did not so readily show me grace. however, when Christ paid the ultimate price for God to bestow His grace upon us, He never asked God why He should give grace to those who did not do the same for Him. He simply gave His life so that grace could be given to all. That's the special quality of it--you don't earn grace or deserve it. It is freely and lovingly given. What a challenge for me to fulfill!!
That drive to comprehend the incomprehensible could very well become my own stumbling block, if I let it. But, I can also acknowledge it, work past it, and daily strive to be more like my Savior. What a gift I could give someone by showing them the grace I so longed for. What a gift I could give myself by doing it without questioning it!
Brothers, do not slander one another. Anyone who speaks against his brother or judges him speaks against the law and judges it. When you judge the law, you are not keeping it, but sitting in judgement on it. There is only one Lawgiver and Judge, the one who is able to save and destroy. But you-who are you to judge your neighbor? (James 4:11-12)
There's a girl in the corner
With tear stains on her eyes
From the places she's wandered
And the shame she can't hide
She says, "How did I get here?
I'm not who I once was.
And I'm crippled by the fear
That I've fallen too far to love."
But don't you know who you are,
What's been done for you?
Yeah don't you know who you are?
You are more than the choices that you've made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
you are more than the problems you create,
You've been remade.
Well she tries to believe it
That she's been given new life
But she can't shake the feeling
That it's not true tonight
She knows all the answers
And she's rehearsed all the lines
And so she'll try to do better
But then she's too weak to try
But don't you know who you are?
You are more than the choices that you've made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You've been remade.
You are more than the choices that you've made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
you are more than the problems you create,
You've been remade.
'Cause this is not about what you've done,
But what's been done for you.
This is not about where you've been,
But where your brokenness brings you to
This is not about what you feel,
But what He felt to forgive you,
And what He felt to make you loved.
You are more than the choices that you've made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You've been remade.
You are more than the choices that you've made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You've been remade.
You've been remade.
You've been remade.
You've been remade.
You've been remade.
My most recent struggle has been trying to understand something that I probably never will: Why grace was afforded so abundantly to some but I was treated so ungraciously? That drive to comprehend something so incomprehensible can push me down a path of resentment and unending pain and disappointment. It can also create those shadows on the wall that I fear--self-doubt, insecurity, low self-esteem. If I am not careful, the feelings that are justifiably mine can consume me and welcome that darkness back into my life.
The song "You Are More" by Tenth Avenue North really touched me in my most sensitive places in my heart. At first it spoke to me personally. It helped me to understand that it does not matter what my past mistakes are; it does not matter what people have made me look like or how they have spoken ill of me. Jesus loves me; He has forgiven me; I HAVE BEEN REMADE! What a comfort to me to hear.
I know all of this to be true, but it sometimes helps me to have it reinforced. I have to remind myself that what others think or feel or assume does not matter. As long as I set my eyes on Christ and live with a hear for Him, I am doing what needs to be done. So as those shadows threaten to loom on the walls of my heart and as that "Boogie Man" tries to make himself larger than life, I draw on the promise of God's forgiveness and my new lease on life. I know that I am remade and that my God knows that.
I also feel a challenge through this song. While I find peace and comfort for my personal hurts, I also realize that I need to put the shoe on the other foot. I need to remember how I felt being incorrectly judged, feeling like I could not "prove" myself to receive grace. It is not my place to judge someone. I must remember that though I may feel hurt and anger toward someone, that does not mean that that person does not deserve grace. It does not mean that though someone does not show me grace that I should withhold it from him or her.
Because I am remade, I daily strive to be more like Christ. I want my heart to be purified by the Purifier of souls. As I put God first, the rest comes a bit more easily. It doesn't mean that I still don't question why I should show grace to someone who did not so readily show me grace. however, when Christ paid the ultimate price for God to bestow His grace upon us, He never asked God why He should give grace to those who did not do the same for Him. He simply gave His life so that grace could be given to all. That's the special quality of it--you don't earn grace or deserve it. It is freely and lovingly given. What a challenge for me to fulfill!!
That drive to comprehend the incomprehensible could very well become my own stumbling block, if I let it. But, I can also acknowledge it, work past it, and daily strive to be more like my Savior. What a gift I could give someone by showing them the grace I so longed for. What a gift I could give myself by doing it without questioning it!
Brothers, do not slander one another. Anyone who speaks against his brother or judges him speaks against the law and judges it. When you judge the law, you are not keeping it, but sitting in judgement on it. There is only one Lawgiver and Judge, the one who is able to save and destroy. But you-who are you to judge your neighbor? (James 4:11-12)
Chasing Your Boogie Man to Christ and Leaving Him at the Lord's Feet
Here I find myself once again finding testimony in music...My inspiration comes from two songs in particular, "God Is Bigger" and "At Your Feet". I'll begin with the lighter side of my thoughts this time.
The first song, "God Is Bigger", is actually one written for children. It found its way into our vehicle by way of a free Veggie Tales CD from Chick-filet. Let me just stop and say how awesome I find it to have received a Christian CD with a kid's meal! Now, onto the words...You have to imagine the conversation of a child in reference to the things that cause him/her fear at night.
The child's solution is to "call the police". But a voice says, "You don't have to do that. You don't have to do anything." To which the child responds, "Why?" The voice says "Because..." and then the chorus goes as follows:
God is bigger than the Boogie Man
He's bigger than Godzilla
Or the monsters on T.V.
Oh, God is bigger than the Boogie Man
And He's watchin' out for you and me.
WOW! A very basic, fun children's song can be applied to us today as adults! Our things that go bump in the night, our boogie man, our monsters may be different than a child's. However, the message is the same for all of us--God IS watching out for us and He IS taking care of us!
I couldn't but chuckle when I first heard the song and thought,, "How cute!" But the more we listen to it, the more I listen to the message. As a child, things that make shadows on the wall are frightening. Imaginary monsters are scary. What a blessing for a child to be able to know this song's simple but powerful promise. What a blessing it will be for a child later in life to know this promise form God when he/she faces new monsters and boogie men.
This brought me back to the thoughts of my latest very dark time. I mentioned it in an earlier entry. My dark place had shadows on the wall--shadows of insecurity, shadows of self-doubt and low self-confidence. My dark place had a boogie man that brought me despair and depression. But then, I began to lean on the promise that God was watching over me and was taking care of me. And, slowly, the dark place became brighter and brighter until it was totally lit with Christ's love for me.
Was the boogie man gone? Were the shadows gone? No, but I could really see them in better light, see them for what they really were. Those shadows were not so big after all. And that boogie man, well, he was a pitiful little nothing of a creature. It became very evident that I had nothing to fear. Did everything magically get better? No.
In fact, in some ways, the real work had just begun. Once things were more clear and not so distorted, I was able to begin working through it all. I still have a lot of unanswered questions and hurt, but day by day these become less and less. The process was not originally a day by day process. In fact, it wasn't even an hour by hour process. At first, I had to work through it all minute by minute reminding myself to simply breathe.
As I leaned more heavily on God's promise to watch out for me and care for me, I found a renewed strength. I didn't have to bear it all on my own. The weight of my struggles was also shared by my Savior. Feeling less weighed down, less down-trodden, my spirits began to rise from the depths of my dungeon of hurt and pain. I found an increase in my self-confidence.
As I quit struggling to "do it on my own" and accepted the help from loved and trusted ones and allowed allowed God to shoulder my load, I began to believe that I could do it...I could do it by acknowledging that I COULD NOT do it with out God's help. I always believed and trusted God, but never had I had to be so dependent upon Him. Never had I had to so fully surrender myself.
Before my dark reached its depths, I had the opportunity to attend a Kutless/Casting Crowns concert. I was just beginning to face some struggles and went to this event with a heart yearning for some much-needed nourishment. My soul was searching for that closeness to God and His reassurance. When I left that concert, I left with my cup running over. I left with a calm. Little did I know that that was just the calm before the storm.
I guess that's why when the storm hit, I was totally caught off guard, or so I thought. That concert event gave me what I needed to draw on to make it through the eye of the storm to the other side. Did I come through with my "hair and make-up" in tact? No. The point is that though I looked as if I had weathered a storm (on the inside and the outside), I HAD WEATHERED IT! I survived it.
In fact with God's help, I not only survived it, I grew through the process. Though the forgiveness aspect has been tough, I am still working on it making a bit of progress each day. Each day I can release a bit more of my pain and hurt knowing that those who hurt me cannot take away the one sure thing in my life--my relationship with God. No matter what actions were taken against me, no matter what ill-words were spoken of me, those persons could not sway how my God loves me.
At the concert, I had many of what I call God moments. I was moved to tears countless times--tears of joy, tears of sorrow and hurt, tears of anger. But one song in particular spoke to my broken heart: "At Your Feet" by Casting Crowns. There are many times since that I have found myself needing those words. So much of the song seemed to be just for me. So, I am going to share it now with you.
"At Your Feet"
Here at Your feet, I lay my past down
My wanderings, all my mistakes down
And I am free
Here at Your feet, I lay this day down
Not in my strength, but in Yours I've found
All I need, You're all I need
Jesus, Jesus, at Your feet
Oh, to dwell and never leave
Jesus, Jesus, at Your feet
There is nowhere else for me
There is nowhere else for me
Here at Your feet, I lay my future down
All of my dreams, I give to You now
And I find peace, I find peace
Here at Your feet, I lay my life down
For You my King, You're all I want now
And my soul sings...
'Cause I am free (here at Your feet)
All I need (is at Your feet)
I find peace
We're at Your feet
We're at Your feet
And I am free (here at Your feet)
All I need (is at Your feet)
I find peace
We're at Your feet, we're at Your feet
We're at Your feet, we're at your feet
Here at Your feet, I lay my life down
What peace I found in this song! I began that night by letting things go and laying them down. i could no longer carry the weight of it all. I had to lay my life at Jesus' feet before I could take another step. This prepared me for what was to come, what would be some of the darkest days of my life.
When the dark closed in, I had to draw on that peace and strength that I had just discovered. I had to remind myself that in order to find the Light, I had to make my way to Jesus' feet. I had to place my life--my fears, my hurts, my joys, my hopes--at His feet. Then I only had to take His hand and look into His face. The strength began to rise inside me. The Light crept into my darkness. And, then I found true peace.
The first song, "God Is Bigger", is actually one written for children. It found its way into our vehicle by way of a free Veggie Tales CD from Chick-filet. Let me just stop and say how awesome I find it to have received a Christian CD with a kid's meal! Now, onto the words...You have to imagine the conversation of a child in reference to the things that cause him/her fear at night.
The child's solution is to "call the police". But a voice says, "You don't have to do that. You don't have to do anything." To which the child responds, "Why?" The voice says "Because..." and then the chorus goes as follows:
God is bigger than the Boogie Man
He's bigger than Godzilla
Or the monsters on T.V.
Oh, God is bigger than the Boogie Man
And He's watchin' out for you and me.
WOW! A very basic, fun children's song can be applied to us today as adults! Our things that go bump in the night, our boogie man, our monsters may be different than a child's. However, the message is the same for all of us--God IS watching out for us and He IS taking care of us!
I couldn't but chuckle when I first heard the song and thought,, "How cute!" But the more we listen to it, the more I listen to the message. As a child, things that make shadows on the wall are frightening. Imaginary monsters are scary. What a blessing for a child to be able to know this song's simple but powerful promise. What a blessing it will be for a child later in life to know this promise form God when he/she faces new monsters and boogie men.
This brought me back to the thoughts of my latest very dark time. I mentioned it in an earlier entry. My dark place had shadows on the wall--shadows of insecurity, shadows of self-doubt and low self-confidence. My dark place had a boogie man that brought me despair and depression. But then, I began to lean on the promise that God was watching over me and was taking care of me. And, slowly, the dark place became brighter and brighter until it was totally lit with Christ's love for me.
Was the boogie man gone? Were the shadows gone? No, but I could really see them in better light, see them for what they really were. Those shadows were not so big after all. And that boogie man, well, he was a pitiful little nothing of a creature. It became very evident that I had nothing to fear. Did everything magically get better? No.
In fact, in some ways, the real work had just begun. Once things were more clear and not so distorted, I was able to begin working through it all. I still have a lot of unanswered questions and hurt, but day by day these become less and less. The process was not originally a day by day process. In fact, it wasn't even an hour by hour process. At first, I had to work through it all minute by minute reminding myself to simply breathe.
As I leaned more heavily on God's promise to watch out for me and care for me, I found a renewed strength. I didn't have to bear it all on my own. The weight of my struggles was also shared by my Savior. Feeling less weighed down, less down-trodden, my spirits began to rise from the depths of my dungeon of hurt and pain. I found an increase in my self-confidence.
As I quit struggling to "do it on my own" and accepted the help from loved and trusted ones and allowed allowed God to shoulder my load, I began to believe that I could do it...I could do it by acknowledging that I COULD NOT do it with out God's help. I always believed and trusted God, but never had I had to be so dependent upon Him. Never had I had to so fully surrender myself.
Before my dark reached its depths, I had the opportunity to attend a Kutless/Casting Crowns concert. I was just beginning to face some struggles and went to this event with a heart yearning for some much-needed nourishment. My soul was searching for that closeness to God and His reassurance. When I left that concert, I left with my cup running over. I left with a calm. Little did I know that that was just the calm before the storm.
I guess that's why when the storm hit, I was totally caught off guard, or so I thought. That concert event gave me what I needed to draw on to make it through the eye of the storm to the other side. Did I come through with my "hair and make-up" in tact? No. The point is that though I looked as if I had weathered a storm (on the inside and the outside), I HAD WEATHERED IT! I survived it.
In fact with God's help, I not only survived it, I grew through the process. Though the forgiveness aspect has been tough, I am still working on it making a bit of progress each day. Each day I can release a bit more of my pain and hurt knowing that those who hurt me cannot take away the one sure thing in my life--my relationship with God. No matter what actions were taken against me, no matter what ill-words were spoken of me, those persons could not sway how my God loves me.
At the concert, I had many of what I call God moments. I was moved to tears countless times--tears of joy, tears of sorrow and hurt, tears of anger. But one song in particular spoke to my broken heart: "At Your Feet" by Casting Crowns. There are many times since that I have found myself needing those words. So much of the song seemed to be just for me. So, I am going to share it now with you.
"At Your Feet"
Here at Your feet, I lay my past down
My wanderings, all my mistakes down
And I am free
Here at Your feet, I lay this day down
Not in my strength, but in Yours I've found
All I need, You're all I need
Jesus, Jesus, at Your feet
Oh, to dwell and never leave
Jesus, Jesus, at Your feet
There is nowhere else for me
There is nowhere else for me
Here at Your feet, I lay my future down
All of my dreams, I give to You now
And I find peace, I find peace
Here at Your feet, I lay my life down
For You my King, You're all I want now
And my soul sings...
'Cause I am free (here at Your feet)
All I need (is at Your feet)
I find peace
We're at Your feet
We're at Your feet
And I am free (here at Your feet)
All I need (is at Your feet)
I find peace
We're at Your feet, we're at Your feet
We're at Your feet, we're at your feet
Here at Your feet, I lay my life down
What peace I found in this song! I began that night by letting things go and laying them down. i could no longer carry the weight of it all. I had to lay my life at Jesus' feet before I could take another step. This prepared me for what was to come, what would be some of the darkest days of my life.
When the dark closed in, I had to draw on that peace and strength that I had just discovered. I had to remind myself that in order to find the Light, I had to make my way to Jesus' feet. I had to place my life--my fears, my hurts, my joys, my hopes--at His feet. Then I only had to take His hand and look into His face. The strength began to rise inside me. The Light crept into my darkness. And, then I found true peace.
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