Heaven Is Closer Than You Think

****Preface: I wrote a passage this summer that I never posted. I was concerned about the context maybe not being quite what some people would understand about Heaven and loved ones that have passed away. However, I have recently attended two funeral services where the pastor has spoken about how Heaven is not far away. As a matter of fact, he said that it was right here, all around us. He also said that our loved ones never really leave us, that we might feel their presence closer at certain times. This is exactly the meaning behind the passage that I wrote in July of 2011! I don't think that I can even begin to describe how this made me feel, but I will be happy to share the entry with you.*****

WRITTEN ON JULY 15, 2011
Have you ever been missing a loved one lost to death and then have something happen to make you know that they know how you feel? I know this sounds strange, but hear me out as I attempt to explain.

I have lost several loved ones, but this past year and a half, nearly 2 years, I have lost two very special people. Both were strong Christians. They came from different stages in life. One was my 2year old niece and one was a dear friend in his early 70s. They died within one month of each other.

To this day, I miss them so much that it still brings tears to my eyes. Not long after "BJ", as we called our family friend, died, I found myself singing "You Are My Sunshine" to my children one night. Singing to them at night was not out of the norm, but that song I had never sung to them before. It was very shocking to me to find myself singing that song.

BJ was a retired minister who had become like a grandfather to us kids. He and his wife were very special to our family, and thus were special to my family as I began one of my own. He officiated at our wedding and baptized our triplets. He used to pick at me and say that he was going to tie my long, blond hair in a knot. But I knew he was joking. he lovingly nicknamed me "his Sunshine". I knew that my desire to sing that song was like a message from him letting me know he was watching over us.

A few weeks after that, my sister-in-law had come over to bring some pictures for a scrap book that I was putting together in memory of Erynn, my niece. It had been a good but emotional visit. As she left, I went out to the front room of my house and looked out the front door window. At that same time, Liz called me to tell me to look out the window. In my front yard was a large amount of the normal gray ring-necked doves. In the center of them stood one pure white dove. Another message...Erynn had been with us during our visit.

Just this last week, my husband and I renewed our wedding vows. Our ceremony was conducted by my grandfather's nephew in the gazebo on the property where my grandfather and his sisters lived as children. Gathered round us was a small group of family. As John began the service, he spoke of the importance of family. he asked all of them to stand and gather close around Josh and me. Then, on this very unusually hot day in Michigan, I felt a cool, soft breeze.

But, first let me backtrack to my day. It had been very emotional . I have not set foot in a cemetery since Erynn died nearly two years ago. After church this Sunday, my sister drove us all out to to visit a St. Jude friend's grave. She and Layton, my nephew, had become great friends while receiving treatments. Seeing the pictures on her tombstone made me very emotional. I had a rough time with the whole experience.

I could not help but also think of Josh's grandmother, Maw Maw. Our vow renewal was held on what would have been her 94th birthday. I knew she would have been so proud of her grandson. So as the wind gently blew through my grandparents' backyard, I felt the presence of the Lord descend upon our gathering. I choked up a bit as I remembered those lost loved ones but felt that they were there in spirit helping us reaffirm our vows.

It was such a great joy that we were able to reaffirm our vows before our family. But to me, it was that much more special to share it with our children.

I feel like the loved ones I have lost have been very influential in my life. I want to offer the same positive example to our children. I believe that God gives us those special moments (the dove, the song, the gentle breeze) in order to allow us to have our loved ones' spirits felt. In other words, their lives go on inside of our hearts, and moments especially like these allow us to feel their presence within our hearts.

I felt that we had the great privilege of sharing with our loved ones. We were able to share our commitment to each other in the eyes of God, our family, and our children. The raw emotion that I had experienced, the nerves, the planning suddenly did not matter. As I stood facing my husband, I felt the presence of God, of our lost loved ones, and loved ones present embrace the the two of us. I felt my heart fill with such joy and peace. Looking into his eyes, I saw the man God gave to me to support me in sickness and health, through financial hardships, and the rials of life. I saw my best friend. My best friend that has traveled a long road with me, that has brought me closer back to Him who brought us together--God. And God was there with BJ and Erynn and Maw Maw in that gentle breeze.

So, let those surprises carry you through. Let those unexpected events remind you that you are not alone and that our loved ones are not lost or gone. We know exactly where they are--HEAVEN. And they will NEVER be gone for our love for them allows them to live on inside our hearts. I can't help but think that BJ and Maw Maw were proud as they watched us once again promise to hold true our vows we made to each other and God. It was an awesome way to celebrate life and love and God!

Today, as I began to gather my thoughts to enter this blog, I began to hum a song that reminded me of my exact feelings that I experienced this summer--the same feelings that prompted the initial entry in my journal. I will close with this song by Diamond Rio.

"I Believe"
Every now and then
soft as breath upon my skin
I feel you come back again
And it's like you haven't been

Gone a moment from my side
Like the tears were never cried
Like the hands of time
Were pulling you and me

And with all my heart I'm sure
We're closer than we ever were
I don't have to hear or see
I've got all the proof I need

There are more than angels watching
Over me...I believe...Oh, I believe.

Now when you die your life goes on
It doesn't end here when you're gone
Every soul is filled with light
It never ends if I'm right

Our love can even reach across-
Eternity...I believe...Oh, I believe.

Forever you're a part of me
Forever in the hear of me
I will hold you even longer
If I can...

O the people who don't see the most
Say that I believe in ghosts
If that makes me crazy then I am
Cause I believe...Oh, I believe.

There are more than angels watching
Over me...I believe...Oh, I believe.

Every now and then
Soft as breath upon my skin
I feel you come back again...
And I believe...