The Cold and Lonely Darkness of Life?

"Never Let You Go"-Manafest
When you're awake and you can't believe your eyes
'Cause all the truth that you knew has turned to lies
When you're scared and you can't see past a day
Remember who holds tomorrow
Know his love will light the way

Hold on when everything is shaking
Stand strong when the ground is falling through
Reach out to my hand in the darkness
That's holding you
I'll be your peace in the waiting
Your strength when you're broken on the floor
Hold on, it's all worth fighting for
'Cause I will never let you go
I will never let you go

When you look in the mirror and you run away
'Cause all you see are the scars from yesterday
When the parade goes by and you fell alone
Never lose hope to sorrow
You're closer than you know

Hold on when everything is shaking
Stand strong when the ground is falling through
Reach out to my hand in the darkness
That's holding you
I'll be your peace in the waiting
Your strength when you're broken on the floor
Hold on it's all worth fighting for
'Cause I will never let you go
I will never let you go

When the road is hard and your faith is shaking
Never look back on the steps you're taking
You're more to me than you could ever know

Hold on when everything is shaking
Stand strong when the ground is falling through
Reach out to my hand in the darkness
I'm holding you
I'll be your peace in the waiting
Your strength when you're broken on the floor
Hold on it's all worth fighting for
'Cause I will never let you go...
I will never let you go
I will never let you go...
You're more to me than you could ever know

So, the new offshore position of hubby is still requiring adjustments 8 months later! Some hitches are easier than others. This hitch departure was horrible. As Josh walked out the door, I felt my heart sink. I felt so alone and sick all at once. Oh, the pain of him walking out the door that night...

And as I lay in bed with my eyes staring into the darkness, I prayed a simple prayer. "Dear God, please take this pain and give me peace. And please do the same for Josh." It was instant--the calm swept over me. The weight lifted and I had relief. I sometimes can not go back to sleep when Josh wakes me up to say his farewells at 2:00 AM. But this time, even after the awful pain, I had rest, true rest!!

God is there for us any time of day. God hears us when we pray. He is our calm in the storm. He may not calm the storms, but He brings us peace as we go through those times in our lives. And I know these promises to be true, so why do I doubt them or struggle to tough it out on my own? I reached out in the darkness and found His hand holding me.

The darkness was no longer empty and cold. I didn't feel alone anymore. The pain subsided, although it was still present. You see, the promises of peace and reassurance and strength and comfort and guidance...they are true. But, we still have to experience life. You know, if we never needed Him, would we still go to Him? By needing Him to fulfill those promises, He has opportunity to let His glory shine through us.

That night was a reaffirmation of God's promises to me. I don't get to skip all of the pain and struggles, but I don't have to experience it alone. i can have His hand to hold me in the darkness. I just have to reach out to grab it. My simple prayer was just a small thought, a portion of a conversation. But it was heard.

This song speaks to my past, present, and future. I have had times when I did look in the mirror and saw only the scars of my past. I can remember being trapped in sorrow. I remember, not that long ago, that I was broken on the floor. I couldn't see past an hour, much less a day!

But now, I know that I have a hand to reach out to...I have strength when I am weak...I matter to Him! Knowing all of this, and more, I am encouraged to not stare into the cold, empty darkness and feel alone. Instead, I reach out to His hand in the darkness and allow Him to hold me and carry me through the storm. And suddenly the dark is not so dark, and the night is not so cold and lonely. And my God is there with me.